omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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