I want to make a zoo with you.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
