$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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