does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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