how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
