the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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