you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
