Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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