Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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