the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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