Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
