i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
soo... how was my night?
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