Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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