It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
her vagine was all disorganized.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
