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Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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