Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
