If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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