I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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