Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
