Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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