Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
love makes seman taste better
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
