The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
