she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
