If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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