i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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