What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
