All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
