Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
