She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
