I think im going to throw up on grandma
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
