he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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