I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Quick, to the slutcave!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
