I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
