I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
