We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
