Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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