omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
