I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just gift wrapped bread.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
