Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
