This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
