Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
