Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You made out with two different species that night
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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