You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My dick has a subreddit
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
