is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
