Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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