she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
