How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
