You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
