Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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