HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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